Do you have agents who are stuck? Use the mental actions top performers use to move ahead.
Why do some people get stuck when things don’t work out? They become ‘deer in the headlights,’ frozen in place. Maybe they had a bad performance. Maybe they set high goals and didn’t achieve them. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations for ‘the first time out’. Whatever it was, they decide:
I can’t do this. I’m giving up. I’ll never do that again.
They give up quickly, when things don’t turn out their way. Conversely, top performers exhibit mental toughness–persistence through challenges and failures. What’s the difference between the ‘giving up group’ and top performers?
Mental Toughness: Thinking of Giving Up—But Persevering Anyway.
Do you think top performers, when they lose, think of giving up? Sure. But, most of the time, they don’t. Why? They’ve gained and practiced what I call ‘tenacity skills’. You can lead your agents through developing these skills. Today, I’ll just touch on a couple of these skills.
Most of us don’t know these skills. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t taught these skills. I was lucky. I started playing piano at age four. As I progressed, I learned the skills of tenacity. I learned, for example, that a difficult classical piece wasn’t going to be mastered in one fell sweep by slopping through it! I had to start slowly, cut that piece into small sections, practice as perfectly as possible—then put the pieces together. (The same way you learn a listing presentation!)
(Note: I didn’t learn these on my own. I had wonderful piano coaches).
Unrealistic Expectations Can Lead to a ‘Throwing Up of the Hands’
I’ve interviewed and hired hundreds of new agents. I’ve marveled at their ‘tenacity’—or lack of it. I’ve made a study of how some people keep going through adversity, while others throw up their hands at the first disappointment.
Unrealistic Expectations Can Trigger Giving Up too Soon. We can set ourselves up for failure by expecting success right now. (My survey of 400+ new agents (See Launching Right in Real Estate: What They Won’t Teach You in Pre-License) showed the majority expected a sale in their first month in the business. When that doesn’t happen, they’re mentally and/or physically out of the business…).
Reward Yourself for a Step Forward. To guard against giving up just before you have a ‘win’, reward yourself for any step forward (like making ten lead generating contacts in a day). Rewarding yourself for progress instead of just the big ‘win’ keeps you moving forward. (See Up and Running in 30 Days for a proven start-up plan with incremental activities and measurements).
Two Moves that Increase your Tenacity and Chance of Success
- Visualize the best outcome. That sounds easy, right? But, a couple of things get in our way. If we haven’t had a great coach and accurate training, we don’t have a clear path and progress to that outcome. So, be sure you get great training and a coach to help you keep practicing to mastery.
I learned this as a piano major. My performance coach taught me to go to the piano, sit down, keep my hands down, and ‘hear’ the first four measures of the piece I was going to play. That way, I was ‘visualizing’ (via hearing) right into the piece of music. This quieted my beating heart, helped me focus on the music, and helped the audience focus, too.
How to start: Visualize the end of your listing presentation with sellers. Make it technicolor. Put in the sound. Make it fun. At first, you’ll find this ridiculous—because we spend all our time in negative self-talk. So, do it 20 times until you’re enjoying it. Voila! Your listing presentation will be improved immensely and you’ll enjoy it much more.
- Practice positive self-talk. The other thing that gets in our way is that we have practiced the wrong kind of self-talk—negative self-talk. (A survey says we are told ‘no’ 148,000 times before age 18!). So, what do our little inner voices tell us: “No. You can’t do that. No. That was stupid.” And on and on…..
How to practice positive self-talk: If you’ve been told ‘no’ 148,000 times (and some in my audience say it’s more like 200,000+ to them!), you’ve got your practice cut out for you. Give yourself positive short sentences 20 times for every ‘no’ you’ve let get into your head. Again, you will be uncomfortable at first, because your inner voice hasn’t been used this way! Keep doing it until you’re enjoying these positive ‘strokes’.
Don’t Go It Alone
Here’s what we performers have learned about mastering anything, about winning: You can’t master it alone. You need a coach. Why? Because we can’t see and hear ourselves as others do. We are ‘slaves’ to our own habits. We need to be pushed, prodded, maybe even blatantly told—to get better. At someone to help us unlock that talent we thought was there—to help us realize our dreams—and benefit others.
Summary
Practice
- Visualization
- Positive self-talk
Be Your Agent’s Partner to Get to Your Ultimate Goals
Many people are wary of enlisting a coach. Maybe they’ve had a bad experience. Maybe they think they can just ‘go it alone’—with a little training, perhaps. I think they’ve missed the point of gaining a coach. At best, a coach should teach you to manage yourself more effectively. A good coach should:
- Have a proven game plan (action plan) to customize for you, so you can learn the principles and basics of the process of reaching your goals.
- Help you build on your strengths, to increase your confidence and help you make sold, effective long-term decisions for yourself. A good coach will help you discover awesome aspects of YOU that you never thought about!
How Coachable Are You?
Let’s admit it. Some people may not be coachable. To find out your ‘coachability quotient’, take my survey. You’ll get insights into your coachability and your attitude toward coaching.
Click here to grab your coachability survey (great for managers and coaches to use, too).
What did you learn from the survey? Let me know.
